Airing out (and erring in) Arrogance

This blog was written for my first week in South Africa: June 9 to June 15. Apologies for being late getting it upload and… no pictures! Stick with me – I’ll have a picture for week 2.

Last Fall semester I took a Public Policy course called, “Social Activism, Democracy, and Globalization from the Perspective of the Global South”. It’s taught by Yazier Henry, a South African. At the beginning of the semester, Yazier warned us, “It’s my job to challenge you. It’s your job to accept the challenge.” I found it difficult at times to keep up my end. He pushed and challenged every flippant response, “You said, ‘interesting’? What does it mean to be interesting to you?”

Over the course of the semester, we were to develop our own key findings. Each student gave several presentations. Our final project was a twelve page paper, using only the texts/films assigned for the class (we were given a heavy load – which I resented at the beginning and was grateful for when it came time to draft the paper)!

My classmates presented a range of topics – identity as a white male, identity as a Native American, racism and injustice, prejudice and politics in the education system, victim of sexual abuse and rape, losing one’s heritage.

Mine was arrogance. In class, I defined arrogance as having an exaggerated sense of importance or superiority regarding one’s perspective.  

In one of our class readings, the author discussed how Western scholars have studied Africa, while viewing them as “other,” and being “other” meant being inferior. As a result, they gave “off-the-cuff” explanations; painting Africa as a dark abyss, where events happen without warning (suddenly a civil war!). Since the scholars assumed they had all knowledge and understanding, they then labeled Africa as the problem - it must be incomprehensible. However, these scholars had not learned the local language of the people they were studying, or acknowledged the gaps in available text. They are attempting to learn (to study) without the humility of being a learner.

Now, here I am in South Africa, and my first week has been a constant reminder of the importance of being a learner and humility.

Hopefully, no one reading this has done some of the things I’ve done this week: lied about knowing what a value chain is (and then dragging the awkward moment out by trying to bluff through my explanation), raced my fit friends in an uphill, trail event (…only to have to eat a humble pie when I saw them next: finished, rested, and a supportive cheer-squad when I finally made it to the finish-line) and resented that my excel sheet needed some simplifying (hindsight: three colors, three fonts, and multiple grid boxes are too much).

I’m finding humility is subtle. It’s in a thank-you. A clarifying question. Asking someone to repeat themselves. Allowing my ignorance to show. Acknowledging someone is being gracious to me; and appreciating the gift. A willingness to be led. Seeing myself as a small player in a larger conversation.

Don’t get me wrong. I have something to offer. However, I have a lot to learn. Most of what I have learned about South Africa has been second (or third) hand. There are some things I will never understand, or be able to do. It’s embarrassing to say – this is something I’m still coming to grips with acknowledging!

Way back in September, Yazier was pushing me to give more – stretch myself beyond a flippant response. I’m only starting to see now the benefit of his pushing, and hope this summer I can finally say I’ve accepted the challenge.